Take it easy

Four courses for fall. Five days a week. Twenty hours to work. How do I do it? Even I ask myself that question. Which reminds me, I need to continue that volunteering I signed up March of this year. As if I don't have enough things to do. And did I mention I work five days a week? Oh, I also took five courses last winter, and I worked part-time during that period.

I take my physical strength for granted just because I can deal with it now, which I'm sure I'll suffer the consequences later in life. I can be pretty stubborn. I know that. I take my body for granted. I know that. I once pulled three consecutive all-nighters in one week. I hated that. But what can I do? I had assignments and readings I needed to do that week, and I was also adjusting from my crazy lifestyle in summer and the new school year--my second year as a university student. 

Since I'm already in my second year, I have to make it a habit of updating this blog every week--be it a mundane post or a heavy, life's-biggest-questions post. What has this blog got to do with it? I'll give you a bit of info about me which I don't normally do, because I take my privacy seriously. But since it's already late, and although I'm tired and I want to go to bed right now, I can't because I want to finish this post now that I'm in mood to write about it. And when ideas and words flow, I rather release them at that moment than wait for the moment to pass because it might not happen again and I might forget it. So expect a freewrite vibe in this post because I'll only edit this once. Or twice. Okay, maybe before I begin a new paragraph. Even though I'm editing it doesn't mean my brain is processing these words to look for cohesion or coherence (I always get these two mixed up) or if I correctly used a scheme (like in the first paragraph). 

Anyway, back to me (wow, that sounds egocentric). I'm taking the 4-year Joint Communications program of the University of Winnipeg and Red River College where I take two years (or three, depending on the course availability) to get a degree in Communications, and then two years for a Creative Communications diploma in Red River College. I have a friend who is with the same program at Red River, and she said that they are required to update their blogs every week. It's a good thing I started this blog two years ago so at least I have already established myself as a blogger (no pun intended) and I'm not forced to write a blog but I enjoy doing it. The downside is that since I started university my blog posts dropped drastically. Which is understandable, because I am in university after all. But if I'm at Red River College I'm sure that I would be required to update my blog every week. Which is why I have to make it a habit to write a new post every week. Which would make me write more about my personal life if it's a slow news day. 

There you have it. And so, my bed awaits (I'm sure after I publish this post, I'll still read and open other websites that are not relevant to what I'm supposed to be doing). 

You will be remembered, Jack

  I am not fully immersed in the Canadian politics because I have always thought that politics is boring and dirty with its history of mudslinging and violence that I  have encountered during my nineteen years of living in the Philippines. However, when I realized that I have to be politically aware and knowledgeable for the sake of my new home country, I began to learn new persons and catch The National on CBC every night to update myself on the daily news. Since I began university, I became even more politically knowledgeable not for the sake of Canada, but for myself to be a better Canadian immigrant. And of course, that meant that I followed the May elections held this year.

  It's no wonder that I was shocked to read a Facebook status that talks about Jack Layton's death. I thought was pulling everyone's leg, but then I knew that he would never do that. So I got out of Facebook and checked CBC News to confirm this news. And there it was. His death of cancer at 4:45am. I was shocked and saddened by his death, for I never expected this, because I believed him when he said that he'll be back in Parliament in September when he took a personal leave last month due to his health. I don't have any political bias but while I was watching the news and skimming articles I was glad to see that Jack's death united Canadians despite their political differences. I haven't known him for a long time, but I feel that he might have done more if he didn't pass away. I am sure and confident that he will be remembered by all Canadians. My deepest condolences to his family and friends. 

  Here is Jack Layton's last letter to the Canadian written on Saturday, August 20th. The entire letter can be accessed at the CBC website or from the NDP's website, but I would like to quote an excerpt. And don't forget to grab a tissue when you're done reading his letter. 

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."

Rest in Peace, Jack

photo from the CBC news photo gallery

Paralysis

  To be successful is to assimilate. To be comfortable is to conform. 

  I was on my way home, playing music on the bus when this Filipino woman* complemented my messenger bag. I thanked her, and a couple of seconds later she started talking about how she missed the Philippines a lot. She missed the food, the crowd, the shopping malls, and other things. I wanted to tell her that everything will be alright; she should be grateful that this city has a large Filipino community where you see them everywhere you go. I was about to, really. But when she told me that she has been here in Canada a few years longer than me, I was surprised. She was the first woman I spoke with who has lived here for a couple of years and hasn't enjoyed their stay here. So when she told me that she misses the Filipino dishes and that she doesn't like eating steak, that was when realization hit me. She does not want to conform in the Canadian culture which is why she doesn't enjoy her life in a foreign country. A country where most Filipinos would like to settle and live. But that was only my theory, for I had no idea what made her say and think that way, so I should not judge her for experiencing paralysis even after a couple of years. I don't know her subculture, history, and perception in life that made her say those words. But I would like her to move on; I would like her to realize that there is more to this place than just a country to earn money. That way, when she has fully accepted her fate of living in a foreign country where majority of the population speaks English and not her (or our) mother tongue, she would be able to live comfortably and enjoy what this country has in store for her. 

  I think one of the key to living in a foreign land and not get homesick often is to assimilate into their culture and customs. I'm not saying that one should go to the bar every Friday night and live like there is no tomorrow (or a shift early Saturday morning), but a person should learn the culture and customs so that they would be able to conform and act accordingly. It's like getting the best of both worlds (I won't admit that I just made a Hannah Montana reference.). And as for worrying about entertainment and activities, give yourself a break. Once a week. Or a month, if you want to save or think you're overspending and have no control due to the installment payments of almost all the stores here. That way, you are able to reap a week's hard work. And in time, you will be more comfortable living in a foreign country while retaining your culture (in this case, Filipino culture). It's hard, I admit, because I'm also in the process of assimilating and conforming, and at the same time thinking about my culture and my former country. 

  Funny how I just made up these thoughts while I'm being fried by the summer heat, closing my eyes every now and then, and listening to the Bee Gees (Don't judge, but I really think Islands in the Stream, Our Love (Don't Throw It All Away), and How Can You Mend A Broken Heart are really good songs. Or maybe that's just me. But I couldn't help it when some of their songs are really catchy.). 


*I used Filipino woman instead of Filipina for gender equality

Year One

   Today marks the last day of my class for this semester. I registered for spring term that ran from May to June, and now that I'm done, I am proud to say that I am done with this year, and I am looking forward to the next school year this fall. 

   Browsing my blog for my past entries has been a mixture of feelings, because to me some of the posts now seem silly, unintelligible, and insensitive to the marginalized or to other cultural groups who have read and will read this blog. I would like to apologize to anyone who will find my former posts offensive; for I did not mean to communicate them in such a way that the entries negatively resonate with you. I will try not to do them again, and I will see what I can do to change them. I may do it again, but please understand as well that I am also learning. I had an intensive two-month course this spring, and this is what I learned from these two months. To be responsible of my communication. It's amazing how in one year I have changed drastically on how I think and perceive things. But if this is the result of myself or my identity after 9 months at university, then my professors and instructors have done a good job because they have influenced me in a way that I am beginning to change. 

   Another realization I suddenly thought of is that I like studying at a university. I like how the instructors or professors make the students think critically in order to engage in any given context or situation to eventually resist power. Okay, I'll exaggerate-- I like studying. Period. I don't think I really am studying like memorizing places, dates, terminologies or random people you have never heard of just to ace a course exam. Well, I did memorize some of the terminologies my professor taught us but his course was a Science course, so one should be aware that this type of course involves memorization. I'm not complaining though-- I really like that professor and I learned a lot from him. 

   That being said, I enjoyed my time at the university and if only I have more money so I can take more courses that may or may not be related to my major because I want to learn more. And yes, I am a geek. Or a nerd. Whatever you call me. I'm just glad that first year is over. 

person, meet person.

“You're a dandelion seed that flies through the air, and lands randomly, and disappears.” 

   - Swingset Chain, Loquat (It's Yours To Keep)

photo from our backyard

  People meet people everyday but there always comes a time when we lose them and forget that we met that certain person. This person may be a parent, a cousin, a friend, a partner, or anyone who once left a mark in our lives.

  A parent may be a mother or father who abandoned us when we were young; whom we have never met that when they appear again in our lives, the familial feeling is gone. A cousin may be someone we see on holidays, and if you count the holidays in a year, it's not really much. Quick and polite exchanges are made, but other than that, there is not much to discuss because we don't spend enough time with them to actually get to know them. It's a different situation with a friend. Some friends we meet along the way are like that cousin we rarely speak to, that we treat them as acquaintances because you and your friend have a common friend that connects you two together. While some friends, we meet them at one point in our lives and treat them well, but when time and distance interfere, that important friend gradually becomes an acquaintance and someone whom we are not excited to see once again. But there are others, or the special ones, whom we may or may have not known for a long time but we have treasured that friendship so much that our heart will feel incomplete when they are once gone. As for the partner? Just read what I wrote for the friend. But remember, this is not the same with everybody else. For everyone is unique in his or her own way of keeping any relationship alive, and it is up to us if we want to keep the love with that person alive.

  So when you lose someone in your life, either you blame yourself, that other person, or both of you. Time and distance can be deterrents, depending on the circumstances. But in the end, it's really up to us so it's time to forget those list of excuses. Time to face reality. 

Two films. One premise.

   It has been an interesting movie marathon for me because I saw two films that include an illness as the theme but originated from two countries that are both on the other side of the world. Instead of burning the midnight oil reading and studying for my exam, I spent late Sunday night watching these two movies. I was supposed to watch only one movie, but I lost interest in it that I decided to watch another one to make myself feel better.

   I'm not sure if spoilers are included in this post, but Love and Other Drugs is one of the typical boy-meets-girl film so even if I mention the ending it wouldn't be a spoiler right? In addition, I'm watching the second movie entitled My Love By My Side to distract myself from bawling my eyes out (Well, it's true. But I started writing this post while watching the second film and finished it when I was available.). Here goes.

Will there ever be an epiphany?

So I had some free time to write this post, and I am open to any downtime considering what the past few weeks have been for me. I've just finished watching a BBC documentary about an English bus driver who went to Manila, Philippines, and experienced the life of a jeepney driver. I am grateful to BBC for doing this documentary, so at least the Philippine government can do something about it: to make them realize what life is like in that country from a foreigner's perspective. 

I found the video in youtube, and it took me a few minutes to find the link so I apologize but I can't provide the link in case BBC closes it down, and I might not be able to watch it again. Nor the other people who can watch it. I could send an email if you're interested, but really, youtube's search bar is pretty easy to navigate and you would find the link easily. The video is accessible in the BBC website though; so you can visit there to view it. However, it's not available in all areas so one may not be able to watch it depending on which country they live. 

The documentary is an hour long; an average time for a one-episode Korean drama but longer by 10 minutes for a Japanese dorama. Josh West is a bus driver in London and he embarked on a 10-day journey in the Philippines to live the life of a jeepney driver in Manila, Philippines. He stayed for a while with Rogelio Castro, a jeepney driver and his family in San Andres Bukid, Manila, Philippines. Josh drove the jeepney by himself on his last day to get a taste of what it is to be a driver in the bustling and overpopulated streets of Manila. 

As I was watching the documentary, shame and embarrassment were playing in mind, thinking how a foreigner would see this from their perspective. And it's true; I should be ashamed that I used to live in that city more than three years ago and things are still the same. There is still a clear disparity between the rich and the poor, with the poor people living day by day, just like Rogelio. On a typical Monday morning, Rogelio wakes up, drives in Manila for 12 hours, goes home, eats. The next day, he does the same thing. But he doesn't think about what's going to happen the next Monday. All he thinks about is hoping that he makes enough for the day to pay for the debt that he used to buy the jeepney and give the money to his wife, Edith, and she manages the budget for the eight people living in their home. At least Rogelio and Edith only have three children, because Edith did not want her children to die of hunger. Their grandchildren lives with them as well. But they had a neighbour, Elsie, and she lives in a smaller place with her husband and her thirteen children. Thirteen children. Can you imagine that? And now Elsie just realized that she needed to learn more about Family Planning because she was just experiencing the hardships of having a large family. Which she should've done before so she didn''t have to suffer the consequences now. Here's what I like on what Josh said, when they were about to go to the hospital and saying how Elsie should have gone to the hospital a long time ago but then he said, "I'm not living their life, they are." I don't know if this sounds mean to some people, but I find that he's just being realistic that Elsie and her husband decided to have thirteen children, so they have to suffer that. I know, I know. Their children would suffer greatly because they were only born and they're defenseless. But they should also blame their parents and the government for not implementing a bill like the hot issue of the Reproductive Health Bill (or RH Bill) that is opposed by the Catholic Church (who else?). It annoys me that Elsie's family are going through this because the government didn't have Family Planning programs in the slum areas, but I couldn't help but blame Elsie and her husband as well, for they should have known better. I mean, they already know they're poor, so why produce thirteen children, and not be able to feed them? Why? And her first pregnancy was when she was 14 years old. How about that. It's just annoying, really. And disappointing. That the government still remains paralysed even after twenty-five fricken' years of the democracy the Filipinos fought for. 

Alright, here are some pictures, and I apologize if they're blurry. 

the jeepney

Rogelio's jeepney

Rogelio's neighbourhood

Manila

the crazy streets of Manila

a typical day in Manila

Josh and Rogelio, the latter pondering on the distinct separation of the rich and the poor

Josh workin' it

Josh did it! (love their smiles here)

To describe that country, it's like a deteriorating and paralysed place that is also moving backwards. And I am really, really glad, that BBC did this documentary to show the world how ugly the system is.

And don't even get me started on the pagpag. 

A/N: I wrote this in a hurry, and I don't plan on editing it, so I'm sure there are lots of grammatical mistakes, but I don't really care.