Can't idle at all

The semester is *almost* over. One more week left. Time to move on. Time to enjoy summer. Time to enjoy the school break. But not me.

I registered for a spring course at the university so we'll see how that goes. I hope I can still write a blog post every week--especially now that I have more free time. College has made me a workaholic, so I don't think I'll be idle the entire break. I can't do it. I don't think I can do it. But let's see what happens. I hope I won't be lazy and do nothing this summer. I'm just glad that the semester is over and I can focus on myself and other personal projects this summer.

Right now, I'm savouring the moment that school's over. I know I'll worry about school some time next week (or even tonight), but it's alright.

Some people would celebrate or party now that the semester is over, but not me. I'd rather hibernate and stay in bed for an entire week. After the long and exhausting hours, the cups of coffee I drank, the number of sleep I get every night, I just want to rest. I need a break. Which will never happen of course. I can't just stay in bed for an entire week. I'll die. I have to eat, I have to be on the Internet, and I have to do something to pass the time.

Here's a little something I can do: soul searching.




What do you do when you have nothing to do? (The Internet doesn't count.)

Eight Months

School is almost over. There's only one week left (or less than a week) and then I'm done my first year as a Creative Communications student.

I learned a lot in eight months. A lot.

Back in August last year, I didn't know what to expect from the program. I knew that it was going to be stressful and I had to dedicate long hours, but I didn't know what I was going to learn within the eight months I was in the program.

There were so many things I didn't know back in August. 

I didn't know how to write a news article.

I didn't know how to organize an event without a PR proposal. 

I didn't know how to operate an ENG camera or switch the controls in a TV control room. 

I didn't know how to use ProTools or the soundboard. 

I didn't know how to write a print, radio, or TV ad.

I didn't know how to use InDesign or Photoshop. 

These were the basics I had to learn. I'm not an expert in all these things, but the fact that I learned all of these in eight months show what an incredible experience the program is. And how much I love school and learning.

Now that school is (almost) over, I'm more determined to improve these skills and learn new things this summer. But mostly have fun. It's summer, after all. 

Indak (Dance) by Up Dharma Down

This is my first time to translate a Filipino song into English. It's a very rough translation so the asterisks are translations that I'm not sure. When I say "rough" translation, some of these are the literal meaning of the song. This song is written like a poem too. Filipino language has only one Pronoun for 'he' or 'she' so it's hard to tell who the lines refer to in the song. I listened to the song a couple more times before I fully understood the song so it's okay not to understand it the first time--especially if you don't know Filipino. 

Up Dharma Down is one of my favourite Filipino bands. Their music is different from Filipino mainstream. Armi Millare's voice is so soothing and Paul Yap (bass), Ean Mayor (drums and synthesizers), and Carlos Tanada (guitar) complement her voice. This is talented band that stands out from other Filipino artists.


Indak (Dance*)

Tatakbo at gagalaw
Running and moving

Nag-iisip kung dapat bang bumitaw.
Thinking if I should let go.

Kulang na lang, atakihin
All that's left is a heart attack*

Ang paghinga'y nabibitin
Always out of breath

Ang dahilan alam mo na
You already know the reason

Kahit ano pang sabihin nila
No matter what they say

Tayong dalawa lamang ang makakaalam
We're the only two people who knows

Ngunit ako ngayo'y naguguluhan.
But right now I'm confused.

Makikinig ba ko sa aking isip
Do I listen to my mind

Na dati pa namang magulo?
That has always been confused?

O iindak na lamang sa tibok ng puso mo
Or do I dance to the beat of your heart

At aasahan ko na lamang bang
And expect that 

Hindi mo aapakan ang aking mga paa
You won't step on my feet*

Pipikit na lamang at magsasayaw
I'll just close my eyes and dance

Habang nanonood siya. 
While he's watching.

Paalis at pabalik
Leaving and coming back

May baong yakap at suklian ng halik
Giving a hug and exchanging kisses

Magpapaalam at magsisi
Saying goodbye and regretting

Habang papiglas ka ako sayo ay tatabi.
I'll stay close to you while you let go.

Tayong dalawa lamang ang nakakaalam
We're the only two people who knows

Ngunit hindi na matanto
But I can't decide

Kung sino nga ba ang pagbibigyan ko
Who I'll give a chance

Makikinig nga ba sa isipan na alam ang wasto
Do I listen to my mind that knows what's right

Ngunit pipigilan ang pag-ibig niya na totoo
And stop him from loving me

Iindak na lamang ba sa tibok ng puso mo
Or do I dance to the beat of your heart

At aasahan kong
And expect that

Hindi mo lamang aapakan ang aking mga paa.
You won't step on my feet*

Pipikit na lamang at magsasaya
I'll just close my eyes and be happy

Habang nalulungkot ka.
While you're sad.

Pipikit na lamang at magsasaya
I'll close my eyes and be happy

Habang nalulungkot ka.
While you're sad.

Ako'y litong-lito
I'm really confused

Tulungan niyo ako
Can someone help me

Di ko na alam kung sino pang aking pagbibigyan o.
I don't know who I should listen to

Ayoko na ng ganito
I don't like this feeling

Ako ay litong-lito
I'm confused.

Here's one of my favourite UDD videos (not the best because Ean Mayor's not here.). And because I can't get enough of this band, here are two more live videos: at One Esplanade and at the 2011 Stagg Awards. All credits go to the uploaders of the videos. 

credits to TOWERofDOOM

Questions? Leave a comment and I'll try to explain it further. 

And I hope I did justice in translating the song. >.<

Not Easter Sunday, but Holy Week

It's that time of the year again. It's Holy Week.

When I moved to Canada, I was surprised that Easter Sunday is more popular than Holy Week.

However, in the Philippines, Filipino Catholics commemorate Holy Week. It's a week long holiday from Holy Monday to Holy Saturday. Filipino Catholics observe it in their own ways. Some go to the beach, some do the Way of the Cross, some go back to their hometowns and visit their family, and some go to a spiritual retreat. My family commemorates it in our own way.

l grew up spending Holy Week at home or at my aunt's house in a small town South of Manila. It's at the foot of the mountain, so the air is fresh and its very quiet. My aunt goes to the market every morning to buy fresh foods. There's no tv or Internet. It's a very simple and quiet week. And that's how my Holy week has always been.

I can't "celebrate" or have fun on Holy Week-especially from Good Friday to Holy Saturday. So I had to turn down my friend's invitation today. I feel bad for turning my friend down, but there's nothing I can do. I want to go, but I know that I would feel guilty. My friend BG advised me not to go. She didn't even invite me to her birthday celebration on Saturday because she knows I can't go. She says I'm religious, I say... I'm not. :D

It's...tradition? I don't know. The point is, Holy Week is a significant time of the year. It's always been that way and I hope it will always stay that way. Then I can celebrate again after Holy Week--on Easter Sunday. 

At The End of the Day (aka Homecoming Part IV)

It's difficult to appreciate the little things when you're tired and stressed.

At the lowest point of our lives, we turn to someone or something that will make us feel better.

For my regular blog readers (if there is one), you probably already have an idea of my "addictions". For new and recent readers, this list is a summary of my "addictions".

My reliable go-tos:

a. Asian dramas. I watch an episode (or two) when I need a distraction.

b. Anime. When I would rather watch a 25-minute episode or when a one-hour drama is too long.

c. Books. Need I say more?

d. Friends. They're a very good and fun distraction.

e. Can't think of anything.

I rely on this go-to list when I feel like everything is falling apart and I want to forget reality. These past few weeks have been tough, and I unexpectedly turned to the last people I never thought I could turn to: my family and closest friends.

It's not because they're my family that I turned to them. They represent my other identity, the 19-year-old me who grew up in a small, poor, and corrupt country that moved to Canada. The other Lora who walked to school with garbage on the streets, breathed the dirty air in the city, got used to flies and cockroaches flying everywhere, and saw children on the streets asking for money.

And those were just normal things that happen everyday.

I have cousins who live in the country and can't afford tuition because they can only afford food. Their condition reminded me that I'm still lucky even though I'm exhausted everyday. There were times when I felt like giving up but when I thought of my old life and my relatives, I couldn't give up. I had to work hard.

And that was when I realized that my other self will always be a part of me. The self who grew up in the Philippines for the first 19 years of my life. The self who will always make me realize that there are a lot I should be thankful for. 

That was how I got through this semester. And why my blog is named Homecoming. 

Realities

I write poems whenever I feel like it. This is one of them.

Mask

Stare right into her eyes
And you'll see the dark corners of her world.

Stare right into her eyes
And you'll see the pain that resides in her heart.

Stare right into her eyes
And you'll see what she really feels.

Look beyond the face that shows you the glittering eyes and infectious smile.
Look beyond the words that tell you that everything is alright. 


Because sometimes, we just need to let it all out. 


© Lora Quitane
03.13.13


Another poem I wrote a few years ago. I wrote this at 3:03 a.m., and I'm sure that this needs editing. But I'm too lazy to edit it right now, so I'll just post it as it is. Inspired by someone close to me. 


And Then She Became Five Years Older

It's not her looks--
the face that can fool anyone
for them to think that she's a teenager,
nor her face free of make-up,
but the eyes that mirror her thoughts.

It's not the clothes--
for she wears what she wants
and eats when she wants.
Her body is the least of her worries.
What matters is that she breathes and lives. 

It's not her actions
that makes you think she's innocent
and child-like most of the time,
nor her fascination and imagination,
but the subtle things she does that rarely catch your eye.

It's what she sees and how she feels.
For a child must open her eyes
to realize and accept what's in front of her.
To understand that it's in her hands
how the future unfolds.
And when she finally opens up,
that is when she grows.

And that was how she became 5 years older.

© Lora Quitane
08.06.09

--------------------

"Whatever you do, choose life.

The thoughts on your mind, choose life.

Wherever you go, choose life."

- Soul Searching, Urbandub, from Influence.

"There's no point to keep your head face down,

When all we see and know and feel is temporary."

- A Call to Arms, Urbandub, from Apparition.

A Thousand Farewells

Our Journalism class was assigned to read Nahlah Ayed's A Thousand Farewells for an assignment. 

She's very knowledgeable of the Arab language and culture. Her parents decided to move back to Amman, Jordan because they wanted their children to understand the culture and language. At six years old, she had to learn a new culture.

These two paragraphs stood out for me the most:

If there's one thing that journalists could learn from this book, it was the second paragraph. People are always the story. They're not quotes. It's a good reminder for aspiring and professional journalists that people are human too. Humans who should be treated as humans. They are people who has a history and culture. 

In the first paragraph above Ayed mentioned understanding a country's history to understand the transpired events. In the second paragraph she talked of speaking the same language. And she's right. It's not just the language. It's understanding the cultures and backgrounds of different people that can transcend language. When you're familiar with a culture, you can understand that person's world views. Even better when you lived in that culture.

I eventually liked it as I continued reading. But the first two chapters didn't work for me. I didn't like how she introduced her relatives. It would've been better if she quoted her parents or grandparents so that readers can feel or sympathize with them. They seemed distant to me because Nahlah was telling the story of her family. It took me three chapters (almost two) to invest in the book. When she returned to the Middle East, that's when the book became exciting. 

I loved the quotes from the people she interviewed because these people seemed alive.

These quotes were exactly what Ayed meant. In order for one to understand the Arab Spring, one must understand the people behind the revolution. There was a reason why they did it, and this book showed the reasons, from the Arab people themselves. 

The book showed me a new perspective of the Arab Spring and its people. When I watched or read news about the Arab Spring, I didn't connect with the news because it was far away from my comfortable home here in Canada. But after reading the book, I understood them. 

I saw a new perspective of the Columbine High School Massacre after I watched Michael Moore's documentary film "Bowling for Columbine" in 2008. I didn't know too much about the massacre because I was in the Philippines in 1999. I was 11, I was young, and I was ignorant of the world. The film made me aware of the world and the things I could learn. Moore didn't just show Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold's stories; he connected the shooting into a larger, social context. A context that's still an ongoing issue in U.S.A. today. Of course, Moore was biased, but as a documentary film, it worked. I learned more from it after watching it.

Just like reading the book. I learned more from it after reading it. So for anyone who's interested in finding more about the Arab Spring, this book is for you.