Need more time to sink in

I still find it hard to believe that my high school friend Kim passed away. It was all very sudden. Her passing felt unreal. When I heard the news about her being in a coma, my instinct told me that she would survive the ordeal. I believed that she would. But she never did.

----------

I received a notification on my high school's Facebook page asking for prayers. Kim was in a coma Saturday due to ruptured aneurysm and low blood pressure. The hospital she stayed in didn't have the proper equipment for better treatment. She couldn't be delivered to a better hospital because her condition was unstable. Family and friends started posting messages on her Facebook wall, telling her to wake up. All these people were posting messages on her wall post, praying for her, asking for prayers, and telling her to wake up. But she never did.

----------

My friend posted in our high school section's Facebook page that she passed away on Dec. 12, 2012, at 7 a.m. Reading it the first time felt unreal, like it was all a dream. But I knew he would never lie or joke about it. I just couldn't accept the truth. We all couldn't. It was all too soon.

----------

When she was in a coma up until her burial, I checked Facebook everyday to read updates. I relied on photos to see who visited her at her viewing. I look her up on Facebook and read wall posts from her family and friends. Nadine, one of my high school friends, posted this touching poem that was in one of the mass cards. Reading her wall posts and this poem would make anyone cry. 

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me for now I'm free.

I'm following the path God laid for me.

I took his hand when I heard him call.

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work, or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I've found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow:

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full I've savored much,

Good times, good friends, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief,

 Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me,

God wanted me now, he set me free.

author unknown

Who am I?

How do you write a personal brand? This was the assignment in my Advertising class. I found it hard to write because I had to think of the audience first and at the same time be honest about myself. When I wrote my personal brand, I was honest and sincere in answering the questions. 

Everything on this blog is a glimpse of the real me. And because I started this blog in July 2009 and I have 104 posts (this is the 105th post! Yay~!), the personal brand is sort of like a summary of the real me. But this is the longer version because I had to cut some parts in the assignment. Here it is:

What are the things that make you different from others? What could be said about you that cannot be said about someone else? 

I am different because of my life experiences. I lived the first 19 years of my life in the Philippines. This was where I built relationships with my family and friends—people that shaped me to be the person I am today. The things I saw, heard, read, and touched influenced me as a person. 

The values I learned and acquired as a Filipino are stored deeply in me because they keep me grounded. They remind me to be the person I want to be. I also surround myself with people who remind me of my values and beliefs. I would never say this out loud, but my family has always been my biggest strength. I grew up in a conservative and family-oriented household, so just being around them reminds me of my roots, my dreams, and values. 

I may be far from my longtime friends, but they're the people I grew up with, and they're the people who remind me of my younger self. And when they remind me of my younger self and the old days, I think about the dreams of the younger me. Here in Canada, I met new people who helped me be a better person. 

The people I met and the experiences I had makes me different from others because they help me realize my values and dreams. 

What do I stand for? What do I value? 

"Lora Quitane" stands for loyalty, honesty, and hard work. I always believe that hard work pays off. If I don't have the strength to do something, I have faith that I can do it—either with hard work or luck. 

What is your vision? 

I don't aspire to be well known or famous. It doesn't matter to me if people don’t know me when they see me on the streets—I prefer to be anonymous and a stranger. I don’t like being in the limelight. I would rather be on the sidelines and do my job. 

I prefer to put my work on the spotlight than me. If I have a project, I will make that project well known because I believe it’s the project that should be recognized. I would rather the project be more famous than me. 

“Lora Quitane” aspires to be a brand that creates projects that ensue talk and publicity. It is the work that matters—not the brand. 

 

What is your story? 

I left my home country, the Philippines, after living there for 19 years. The country where I was born, the country where I grew up, and the country that made me the person I am today. 

I left my family, relatives, and friends for a new and better life. These people were a significant part of my life. I had to leave not because it was the only choice—I had to leave because it was the best choice. 

I left the Philippines—the place I knew well—to live in Canada—a place I am not familiar with. I had to learn a new history and culture but at the same time I had to preserve the history and culture as a Filipino. 

My life experiences shaped me to be the person I am today. The significant people in my life keep me grounded. They remind me to be the person I aspire to be. 

 

“Lora Quitane” would not be “Lora Quitane” if it weren't for the people she met and the experiences she experienced. It was because of her history and the people around her that shaped the story of “Lora Quitane”.  

For my high school friend

This blog post is for my high school friend, Kim, who passed away Dec. 12, 2012, Wednesday at 7 a.m. (Philippine time). I posted this so she'll have another identity on the Internet aside from her Facebook account (and whatever other accounts she had). 

I rarely kept in touch with her since I left the Philippines five years ago. Or maybe more. However, she was a good friend back in high school. High school for me was one of the best times of my life. Even though we weren't close, she was still an important person to me.

Rest in peace, Kim. And I'll surely visit you when I visit the Philippines. Thanks for the great memories. 

---------

Prayer - Kapatid

click on video for source

Kapatid was a Filipino rock band whose main vocalist, Karl Roy, passed away March this year. 

Note: "kapatid" literally means "sibling" in English, but it is often used as "brother" and/or "sister".

A memory in a shell

"If you could have a memory of anything, real or not, what would it be?"

 

"A fake memory?"

***

Shell is Wong Fu Productions' most visually beautiful short that they have ever made. Written and directed by Wesley Chan, one of the three people behind Wong Fu Productions, an independent production company that makes short films, music videos, and vlogs on YouTube. Their YouTube channel has more than a million subscribers. Their most popular short, Strangers, Again, has more than 11 million views.

I watched most of their videos, but I think Shell is their most beautiful short. Some may not like the dialogue, theme, or actors, but one has to admit that it's really beautiful.


Why do I love this short?

It's lovely to look at. The dichotomy between "reality" and "fiction" is contrasted by the use of colours. In the "reality", the colours are all dark and blue, and the setting is in an enclosed room, as if their actions are limited. In "fiction", the lovely warm colours represent the dream or the man's made-up memory. The characters are outside too, which means that they are free to do what they want. 

I love sunset shots. I'm being biased here, but I think sunset shots are hard to shoot because one has to find the perfect angle to get that perfect light. 

The background music fits the scenes. Soothing and relaxing. Talented Jesse Chui and George Shaw. 

I didn't like Mimi Chao's acting the first time I watched this short, but after watching it again (and again), I have grown fond of her. Chris Dinh's voice is perfect for this role especially when he says the last line. I also like the little details in his acting in the "fiction" scene--when he averts his eyes and gulps because of nervousness. 

Say anything you want about the script, but I think it's very deep and profound. 

Lastly? Because it's a Wong Fu short.

***

"What if we had a chance to remember things that we never actually experienced?"

"What good is it if it didn't happen? No one would believe it."

"You'd believe it. It's about the feeling, that's what matters."

***

Visit the blog for full commentary and behind the scenes footage here.

I speak Tagalog!

I'm one of those Filipinos who speak Tagalog and English. 

Growing up, I never thought that bilingualism was a privilege. I've been communicating in Tagalog and English since I was a child, so switching between the two languages was normal for me. I never thought that I could use this skill when I came here to Canada. 

Living in Winnipeg, I have never thought that Tagalog is the fastest-growing language in Canada. I always think that Filipinos are just everywhere I go around the city. It never occurred to me that Tagalog will become one of the most-spoken languages in the country.

I read this news Wednesday on Twitter (it's amazing how I get news from Twitter first than other media outlets). My initial reaction? Indifferent. Disinterested. I'm still trying to figure out why I don't care too much about this news. I don't mind that Tagalog is on the list of fastest-growing language in the 2011 Census from Statistics Canada. I don't mind it either if it's not on the list. It doesn't really matter to me. 

To some Filipinos, this may make them feel proud. And I understand why they would feel that way. They feel proud because anything Filipino-related is recognized in Canada--not just in the Philippines, but in Canada. A foreign country. And Filipinos can get patriotic too. Ever heard of Manny Pacquiao? Yeah, that's another story.

As for me, it's not too much of a big deal. It doesn't really make me proud like what some Filipinos feel. But I'm not ashamed that I speak this language. 

What matters to me though is that even though Tagalog is one of the commonly-spoken languages in Canada, Filipinos should still learn the English language to adapt in this country and respect the culture. 

On a side note, I think I'll start posting blog posts about languages from now on. 

-----------------
Sources:

Mackrael, Kim. "Tagalog fastest-growing language in Canada, data show." The Globe and Mail. Oct. 24, 2012.

"Bilingualism growing, but not in French and English." CBC News. Oct. 24, 2012.

Simons, Paula. "No matter the language spoken, aspirations remain the same." Edmonton Journal. Oct. 25, 2012.

Sanders, Carol. "Can you say that in Tagalog?" The Winnipeg Free Press. Oct. 25, 2012.

Social Media in Parties

It's common that people at a party pull out their cellphones to text or call someone when they're bored. But in today's world, most people don't just use their phones to do those two things. Some of them check their phones for Facebook, Twitter, or use other social media apps.

But sometimes, when the party is really engaging and everyone is talking to each other and having fun, there's no need to check the most recent newsfeed on Facebook or post a Tweet.  

That's exactly what I felt when I went to two parties last night. In the first party I went to, my friend brought a game of charades. And of course, just like any party, there was alcohol. Sure, I checked my phone sometimes. But I didn't get to the point that I didn't talk to anyone and sat in the corner. I talked to them instead. After that, I went to my cousin's place who was celebrating his birthday. When I got there most of them were already drunk; but because it's been a while since I've seen them, I spent some time with them. I pulled out my phone once in a while, but it was only to check the time. 

While I was at these two parties, I could've pulled out my phone and posted a drunk status, drunk tweet, or send drunk texts. But I didn't. Instead of doing these things to incorporate social media in my life, there are times when one doesn't need to post a drunk tweet because one has to. And I just mentioned in my last post that we have to be responsible in what we communicate because employers look up their potential employees on Facebook or Twitter. So if one posts a drunk Tweet or Facebook status that might ruin one's chances to get a job, it would be a horrible feeling when reality kicks in.

And yes, I'm taking responsibility for this post--it's also because I want to let everyone know that I had fun spending some time with some of the best people in the world--the people who keep me sane as I live my life as a first-year Creative Communications student at Red River College.

Winter? What winter?

Having lived in a tropical country for nineteen years and moving to a cold country is a change for me. I was so used to the usual 20 to 25 C during the rainy season from June to February and 30 to 35 C weather during the hot summer months from March to May. It's also very humid in the city too. This was what I was used to before I arrived here in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I touched snow for the first time when I arrived here on December 2007. I was excited. I played in the snow like a child. 

Now, I still complain about the weather. At least I'm not the only one. But sometimes I try to appreciate the winter here in Winnipeg because that's the only way I don't get depressed. It's good to see the good little things in life because it brings a smile to our faces. So here are the things that I think about when the dreaded winter comes.

Be grateful. Even if it's -40 C and there's a blizzard or a storm, be thankful that you survived this weather your whole life in Winnipeg (either you were born, grew up, or moved here). There are some places in the world that live in conditions with harsher weathers, where people don't survive a landslide or typhoon, so we should be grateful that we're able to survive the winter months without hibernating. 

Appreciate winter. Don't you just love looking at the snowflakes? They have different shapes and sizes and whenever they fall on the ground or on trees and accumulate over time they're beautiful to look at.

Celebrations. Whether it's Christmas, New Year's, Orthodox Christmas and New Year's, Chinese New Year, Hanukkah, or whatever you're celebrating during the winter months (like your birthday), have fun and be glad that you're given another year to celebrate it.

Family and friends. Just think about the people you spend with everyday. Be it your parents, siblings, partner, close friends, or roommates that eventually turned into friends, you can always talk to them if you need a pick-me-up after getting off the bus and walking home through a blizzard. A simple "How are you?" will make you warm inside after standing in the cold when that bus didn't come. Or a smile in their faces would change your mood. 

So as we celebrate Thanksgiving or the long weekend, let's spend time with our family and friends and not dread about winter. I guess it's alright to dread it because I do too, but not to the point that you'll get really depressed. It's important to be grateful and appreciate the little things that life brings. Winter is not worth your time to get depressed and hibernate--there are far better things you can spend your time on and the weather is not one of them.

         ----------------------------------------------------------
While I'm on a roll, I want to share another activity that makes me happy: listening to music. Whenever I'm depressed (either because of the weather or that I have to get up early in the morning), I listen to these songs because they wake me up and puts a smile on my face. It doesn't hurt that I like these bands too.

"Sunshine" by Bamboo

"Good day" by Barbie's Cradle

In another version, she sings "Today's the day" instead of Nescafe. 

"These days" by Bamboo

"Sunburn" by Sandwich

"Summertime" by Moonpools and Caterpillars

All artists featured are Filipino bands and based in the Philippines, except for Moonpools and Caterpillars who were based in California. These are just a few of the artists that I listen to whenever I get up on a cold, dark winter morning.