Across the Pacific: From Tropics to Snow

I was reading Meg Crane's zine when I saw her ad calling for submissions for her zine's April/May 2014 issue. The topic was about travelling and journeys. It was something I could completely relate to, and it was something that I wanted to share to everyone. And because I would rather write my story than talk about it, I signed up to write it.

I had a difficult time writing it because I cried a few times when I was writing it. When I'm writing, I usually write a few sentences then read them again. So every time I reread them or if the idea really resonated to me, I tear up. Even after reading it for this post, I teared up a little bit.

Here's a short excerpt (or parts where I always get emotional):

When you're a minority, it feels completely different. It changes your world and your view about the world. 

You feel like you don't belong. You feel like they're giving you disgusted looks. You feel like they're judging you. You feel like they're being condescending. You feel like they're not treating you right just because you're different. Your self-esteem goes all the way down until you lose the self-confidence you've built your entire life. 

It's hard. It's really hard. But everything will be alright. 

You will only fully understand how it feels to be discriminated when you have been discriminated.

This is one of my favourite parts:

I've accepted that I will never become white. I have learned to embrace my identity. It took me six years to figure this out and I think I'm still in that journey. The journey of finding and accepting myself. 

Before coming here, I thought it was going to be easy and simple. All I had to do was get my education and get a job to help myself and my parents. I was 19 then. I was young. I was naive. I have learned so much in the past six years that sometimes I find it hard to believe that I have survived in Canada this long 

It takes courage to leave your past and start a new life.

My story doesn't end here. There's a reason why I moved here, so I have to know what that is.

Life is full of ups and downs. There are times when you're at the top, and there are times when you're at the bottom. There's nothing wrong with starting over. Leaving your past and learning from your mistakes make you a better and stronger person. So whatever it is that you're going through now, don't give up. Don't lose hope.

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Grab a copy of Cockroach zine's April/May 2014 issue to know more about my story and to read other people's stories about their own journeys. Email them at cockroachzine@gmail.com, follow them on Twitter @cockroachzine, or like them on Facebook. You can also grab a copy on Etsy or at Winnipeg Makers & Market.

Thoughts and musings as the semester ends.

I'm surprised that I have something to write today when I mentioned a few days that this blog is on hiatus. 

I still think I'm going through a phase in my life now, but I don't really know what to call it. 

The last two years has been really crazy for me. This was an experience that I would never dreamed of experiencing. There were times where I cried every week because of the stress, the pressure, PMS, the feelings, the confusion, the responsibilities, and just life in general. Even now, while I'm typing this post my eyes are tearing up. 

When I think about what I've been through the last two years -- I questioned myself a few times if the experience was worth it or if I regret it. To be honest? I don't. But I'd rather not go through it again. It's exhausting. It sucked the soul out of me. I admit, I learned a lot -- a lot more than I could never imagine -- but it was too much. It was overwhelming. There were times where I couldn't keep up with the pace because it wasn't my style. There were times where I forgot who I was three years ago before joining the program. That was probably the worst one. Forgetting my identity and personality.  

My identity is something that I will never change. Because of this program, I have learned to accept myself. Accept that I will never be that person that they want me to be. And I will not try to be that person because I know, in my heart, that it's not me. Let me make my own mistakes and let me learn from my own mistakes.

Before this, I've always believed that the world is big. I've always known that I couldn't stay here in Winnipeg forever. I've always thought of leaving the city for bigger opportunities not only here in Canada, but anywhere in the world. 



There's this quote that I love from "Ten Things I Hate About You":

"Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

I never imagined that this would resonate to me now more than it resonated to me when I first heard about it when I was 18. And I never thought I would have the motivation again to write a post after being on hiatus since September last year. 

Quarter-life crisis

"What are your plans after school?"

No one has asked me that yet. I'm the only one who's asked myself that question. And whenever I ask myself that question, I always don't know what to say. 

This is probably why I'm so confused all the time. I always don't know what to do -- even the smallest and most mundane things in my day-to-day life. 

I'm doomed. 

Not really. I just need to figure out what I want to do in life. I have an idea, but I just don't know if I can do them because of expectations and responsibilities. I can't just think for myself whenever I make decisions because it's not always about me. 

Until I figure out my life, this blog will be on hiatus (that is, if someone reads my blog). If you want to check out my professional site, visit Lora Quitane. 

Blog updates

Hello! As you can see, this blog isn't updated. It's not designed well either. 

I don't have any excuses. I was going to say that I'm busy, but really? It doesn't matter what excuses I make, because the fact that my blog looks like this now is because of me. But I promise to myself that I'll update this blog -- in posts and design. 

In the meantime, you can visit my other blog, Lora Quitane. That's where I post my stuff. Thanks!

Cinemalaya Film Festival 2013

Every July, I always wish that I was in the Philippines. Every year, I always wish I was in the Philippines for the Cinemalaya Philippine Independent Film Festival.

I love watching Filipino independent films because the filmmakers show issues that Filipinos face in the Philippines and in other parts of the world. 

It's always been my dream to make documentaries about the Philippines. Unfortunately, I live in Canada. But I'll find a way. I'll find a way to make a documentary or film that shows a different side of the Philippines. For now, I'm happy watching Filipino indie films who continue to inspire me to make my own films.

The videos below are some of the films at this year's film festival.

Transit - Directed by Hannah Espia

  Sana Dati - Directed by Jerrold Tarog

In the meantime, I can always watch Filipino indie films on the Internet. The next time I visit the Philippines, I'll make sure that it's during the Cinemalaya film festival. 

Sir Paul McCartney in Winnipeg - A Dream Come True

Five days have passed, and I still couldn't believe that I watched Paul McCartney's concert at the Investors Group Field on Monday, August 12. It was the most surreal and best experience I had.

I still couldn't believe that I saw him. Okay, maybe I only saw him on the big screen because I was too far, but I still saw him. I was there. I already accepted that I could never watch The Beatles live because Lennon was already dead before I was even born. It was already embedded in my mind that I could never watch a Beatle live. And then Sir Paul decided to play in Winnipeg after 20 years.

That's not even the best part. I was able to share the experience with my family. I'm glad my parents were able to watch Sir Paul's concert. I'm glad that my sister and brother were there to watch the show with me. Watching Paul McCartney sing our favourite Beatles songs while sitting next to my family was amazing. It was indescribable.

Will the experience ever sink in? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I may forget the experience but I will always remember the feeling.

I know I'm asking too much, but I hope Paul never dies. Or he could live up to a hundred and do tours and can still sing. Or maybe he and Ringo can tour together. 

Andrew Garcia and Joseph Vincent in Winnipeg

The two YouTube artists visited Winnipeg to perform at Driven, an after-market car performance show on July 13, Saturday. As an intern for the Filipino Journal, I had a chance to speak to them.

Andrew Garcia, Ron Cantiveros, Lora Quitane, and Joseph Vincent

(I asked Sally Tran to take our picture)

Andrew Garcia is a YouTube artist and an American Idol Season 9 finalist. After Idol, he continued making collaborations with other YouTube artists. He is a member of YTF Legacy (Yesterday, Today, Forever) with Ryan Higa, Chester See, Victor Kim, D-Trix, and JR Aquino.

What made you join American Idol?

Before Idol, I did YouTube videos and the response was really good. My cousin told me to try a bigger scale. I wasn’t sure because I just wanted to do this for fun. He hit me up the night before the trials and told me to audition for American Idol. My friend was like, ‘Yeah, I’m going there tomorrow, do you wanna come with me?’ and everything just worked out. I was like, ‘I had to do it.’ It’s like there was a path provided for me. So I did and it worked out great. I got a great deal of exposure and beautiful fans that keep supporting so I’m glad I did it.

Any advice to those who want to pursue their dreams?

If you love it, just do it. You’ll always go through something no matter what. As long as you have a little push and support, you could go a long way.

Any tours or new projects you’re working on?

I’m doing a west coast tour with Travis Garland. YouTuber Josh Golden and I are making the song that I sang [at the event]. Dumbfoundead and I are talking about doing another collab. I also want to do another collab with Joseph Vincent because I love him.

When is your Turbulence album coming out?

I reached a speed bump with that. The producer that I was working with was just swamped with his regular job. I’m not gonna take him away from making money and make it out of his living so I told him to do what he gotta do and I’ll figure out a way and now I’m working hard to get my album out.

What can you say about Winnipeg fans?

Fans are cool. I love them. And there are so many women out here. You guys 

are so beautiful here, I mean, what is going on? Winnipeg, I love you.

Visit Andrew Garcia's channel at youtube.com/user/andrewgarcia to listen to his music and follow him on Twitter @andrewagarcia. 

Joseph Vincent Encarnacion became popular from his YouTube videos. He has gone a long way from posting videos in 2008. He still makes videos in his bedroom; the difference is that his channel now has 350,000 plus subscribers with over 50 million views on YouTube. His first album, Blue Skies, was released in October 2012.

Who inspired you to start singing?

My dad got me my guitar when I was 15. He was the one who directed me to YouTube. He showed it to me and said, ‘If you wanna do this for a living, it’s a start.’ So I said, ‘Yeah, maybe.’ I wasn’t sure because I just got to college and I was trying to transition from high school to college at that time. So I posted a couple of videos, got a good response, and I just kept doing it for fun. And now, I’m in Winnipeg, playing a show.  

How do you find the audience response?

It was awesome. I always get nervous before a show regardless of how long I’ve been doing it. It’s my first time here in Winnipeg and the fact that everyone was attentive, listening, and cheering was awesome.

You visited the Philippines in February for the Bayani Tour. How was it?

Gawad Kalinga and Seafood City put the whole tour together to bring Asian Americans back to the homeland. We grew up in America and we kind of lose sight of where we come from and it was eye-opening for me. If my parents didn’t move to America, my life would be insane. It would be so different. It made me thankful for what I have and thankful for what they’re doing.

Did you try balut?

No. AJ (Rafael) did though. He’s like, ‘Come on, do it!’, and I was like, ‘I can’t.’ I probably could eat the egg part, but the bird part, I don’t know. Maybe. I was just nauseous that day. Next time. But I had Jollibee—burger steak for days. It was delicious. And a lot of chicken tocino.

When is your next album coming out?

I’m working on a 5-song EP right now. I’m trying to think about what to call the EP and just waiting for the right time to start going into recording it—mostly pre-production stuff.

When are you coming back to Winnipeg?

I don’t know. When are you guys gonna have me back?

Visit Joseph Vincent's channel at youtube.com/user/hoorahjencar or visit his website at josephvincentmusic.com. 

Would you like Andrew Garcia and Joseph Vincent to visit Winnipeg again? Let us know! Tweet us @FilipinoJournal or @loraquitane and comment on our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/FilipinoJournalFans.